Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I HOPE I DON'T GET TO HEAVEN BY MISTAKE


Heaven on Earth (My Backyard)

I try to be an honest person and it occurred to me I still have faults I deny and obscure.  Hidden in the bushes of my lifescape are some or most of the following (or possibly all):

1.  I have crooked teeth and am hatefully ugly; now add to that, wrinkled and old.

2.  On occasion, I drink way too much.  (Probably to forget the crooked teeth, ugly and old)

3.  I love being alone.  (Saves loads of money on deodorant, breath mints, and unnecessary grooming)

4.  I am coarse (See #3) and uncultured (My last book cover to cover was Silver Chief, Dog of the North)

5.  I have the weirdest fascination with changing identity, as in "Sleeping with the Enemy."  What's up with that?

6.  Sometimes I secretly root for the villain.  (Evidently I played the "robber" in childhood games of "Cops and Robbers" once too often.)  And while on the subject, Jimmy H. should be held accountable for rooking me at the game of football.  It seems he got a touchdown by crossing the goal line; while I had to run around the house before crossing the goal line.  I finally smelled a rat and knew our friendship was weakening.  

There are many more, but why flay yourself open like a mackerel for the world to devour.  Answer:  Because you're perverse, and self-defamation is the ultimate perversion.  Like picking at a scab or pouring flaming iodine on an open wound, I enjoy being harsh with myself.  Students of psychiatry should go fly a kite now.


My Garden in Spring is Heaven

Having cleaned my ugly closet, I feel ready to deal with Heaven. Will I get there?  Heaven only knows.   Failing to pay the dues of institutional righteousness, I must somehow achieve grace by running a heroic final marathon to salvation.  If Heaven comes, it should be deserved, not bought in the collection plate or tax-deductible donation. It should be helping those no one else cares to help, and getting no thanks in return.  It should be taking an unpopular stand against a very popular wrong.  It should be loving all the people, all the world and all the universe and trusting our self-interest to rise with that particular beneficent tide.  


Jolene was going to be destroyed because not one person had answered the pound
ad in the paper.  Not one.  I asked for her sight unseen and was not disappointed.  She provided years of love and companionship until her death last year.  I felt she understood Heaven.
Posted by at

9 comments:

  1. Kay L. DaviesJanuary 31, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    And no matter how old and ugly you are (which you're not) you will surely go to heaven because you adopted Jolene.
    Oh, and I didn't like my crooked teeth until they started breaking without warning, and I had to get falsies. Now that's truly ugly.
    K

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mental P MamaJanuary 31, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    There is nothing ugly about you. Inside or out. You'll get there, trust me. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Meg McCormickJanuary 31, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    We are our own worst critics, aren't we?

    What is that saying about when I get to heaven, I want to come skidding in on one foot, chocolate in one hand and a glass of wine in the other, shouting "Woo hoo, what a ride!"

    Cheers, to you, Mum.

    ReplyDelete
  4. growing wild on waverly laneJanuary 31, 2012 at 6:50 PM

    K: Husband has one tooth and two brushes, overkill. I should call him "Fang," as Phyllis Diller nicknamed her husband.

    MPM: You are a running wonder. You and CBW are awesome!

    Meg: Now that's what I call Heaven!

    ReplyDelete
  5. DarylFebruary 1, 2012 at 6:35 AM

    You'll get into heaven without a doubt (if there is a heaven, that is) because you've befriended that heinous honker

    ReplyDelete
  6. growing wild on waverly laneFebruary 1, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    I'm with you Daryl even though you don't think so. Because I implore Heaven doesn't mean I believe Heaven>

    ReplyDelete
  7. Maria_NJFebruary 2, 2012 at 6:31 AM

    Read Don Piper's book on his dying and going to Heaven for 90 minutes, you will become a believer...it's real, I'm sure...really a goal of mine, that and losing 50 lbs!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. growing wild on waverly laneFebruary 2, 2012 at 8:10 AM

    Being good for the sake of goodness is a higher goal than any splendid reward. Perhaps that's where Heaven resides.

    I love the movie "Hereafter" whose characters experience being dead briefly. Who knows.

    ReplyDelete
  9. fighting mermaidFebruary 2, 2012 at 3:16 PM

    I think heaven just might be your garden in spring. Most of the time I don't really contemplate whether there is one or not. I really don't care on most days...just try to enjoy the heaven I get in the day to day. I am looking forward to the first really good, scrumptous strawberry--that will be February's heaven. It will come in a platic box from Plant City, Florida and shopuld be arriving soon--thy're still shipping the one's I don't like. Love your post!

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)