His appointment at 6 AM EDT (which last week was 5 AM EST) required that we awaken at 4:30 AM EDT (formerly known as 3:30 AM EST) to get ready and travel 40 some miles, with traffic lights and the unpredictable Coleman Bridge, to the hospital.
The door we had always used for one-day procedures was closed and an impatient voice directed us to the pavilion on the other side of the facility. After clomping through the rain with Husband panting, we found the pavilion, where we were directed to go to another far end of the hospital, which must cover 50 square acres. He registered and climbed into a bed on wheels pushed up by elevator to the third floor by our transporter, Mozelle. Given an IV and cable TV, Husband put on his gown and settled in for the wait. His beautiful nurse, Mary Jo, was six feet tall, thin, and wore a long pony tail. I couldn't help thinking of Audrey Hepburn.
Finally Mozelle returned and down we went to first floor surgery. After about 2.5 hours in the waiting room, the doctor was done and Husband had a new energy source planted in his left upper thorax. I knew we were in for trouble when Mozelle had to keep after him to lie back so she could see where she was going. Obviously he was fighting whatever sedation they gave him (3.5 times the normal dosage they later said).
Husband Fights Off Sedation
"I want two breakfasts!!
Look!! I can touch my toes!!
Did you hear the one about the Amish drive-by shooting?"
Back on the third floor, Mary Jo sternly cautioned Husband to lie flat because his incision was weeping and the massive dose of sedative might make him woozy.
Husband and medication sometimes result in Husband squared or Husband times Husband. Around new audiences, he became the stand-up comedian he was born to be. Having seen his act before,I tried to keep him flat and when he refused, I went for Mary Jo. She found him not only sitting up but in the bathroom defying her orders to use the plastic urinal she went to the trouble of providing. I reminded her that he does what he wants no matter who tells him no. As soon as we got him back to the bed, he began snoring. Awake/asleep took about 2 seconds.
Goodnight Sweet Prince
When it was time to go, Mary Jo wheeled him to the entrance and warned me not to stop anywhere because he might try to drive. And I didn't. Thanks, Mary Jo!!