Friday, May 10, 2013


Having children is both a blessing and a tortuous obligation.  I remember my own first week of motherhood as prolonged hysteria interspersed with periods of euphoria followed by long shadows of dark foreboding.  It was joy at regarding the miracle of a totally new human being and fear at contemplating the dangers in life's path.

Chesapeake Bay Woman Looking Terrified
(as she should have been)

I remember sitting on our little sofa with Husband and watching a local TV country music show.  Suddenly I burst into tears for no reason.  Husband tried to comfort me by offering to change the channel; but in spite of my loathing for country music, that was not the cause for my distress.  In fact, I had no idea what the cause was.  My mother did.

Still ill at ease with the job, I show my panic,
while CB baby is all like "I've got this."

Mother knew the frightening aspect of  being responsible for a tender new soul, for the prospect of failure and guilt, and knowing you are as unprepared to raise a child as you are to disarm a nuclear bomb.

Our pediatrician told me that he knew full well I wanted to give him that baby on our first visit.  The baby fitful and my breasts blazing sore, he was dead right.

My mother, bless her, mentioned every possible bad outcome - not the least of which was her precognition that our baby was to have a sad life.  Needing to justify this gloomy forecast, I inquired why she could possibly think that.  She posited that it was in our baby's face.  That, I explained in a moment of lucidity, is because I ate peanuts causing the breast milk to induce gas pains...and there you have it.  I found my backbone of confidence!

My mother enjoyed these three more than anyone!

I cried for no reason on a regular basis for years, then came the real reasons for crying, and finally the tear ducts and ovaries shriveled up and the apathy of old age emerged hardened and resigned.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Happy Mother's Day!  I'm glad we got through it!

Stay tuned for Father's Day!


  1. In spite of (or perhaps because of) your fears, you did good. They all turned out well and have you to thank for it. Happy Mother's Day!

  2. Good God, you are a fabulous writer.
    Your daughters seem to have turned out absolutely maravillosas. I completely identify with your experience, and I hope I may quote you, since you expressed the trepidation of new mommy-hood so well.
    A very Happy Mother's Day to you on Sunday.

  3. I think you done good.

    Have an absolutely wonderful Mother's Day.

  4. Thanks so much. My baby is in an undershirt and rubber pants. For a picture taking. I so sucked! But she looks well dressed now.

  5. Happy Mother's Day , you did very well.

  6. Your mother, aka my Nanny, was my favorite human being, hands down. I think about her every single day.

    I love you too. Happy Mother's Day!

  7. They are all amazing. Just like their mother. xoxo