MEMORIES OF SUMMER

Autumn has slowly slipped into our lives, leaving summer only in our fading recollection.  Here are a few sights that were familiar outside my door only a few weeks ago.

My zinnias blooming around the deck

My garden with chest high tomatoes and waist high basil and peppers

Butterflies enjoying a taste of nectar

And sensing they had to take advantage of the time left

The place for summer relaxing in its final moments

The dogwood trees have red leaves now, soon to be shed

Welcome, Autumn!

ENTROPY

Entropy is defined as disorder or chaos.  The second law of thermodynamics holds that in an isolated or closed system, order tends toward and becomes disorder.  While these are subjective terms (order, disorder), examples can be pointed to in everyday terms.  Every bright light bulb will eventually fail and go to the trash.  Children are born who will always grow old and die.  One distant day the sun will burn out and our environmentally well-ordered planet earth will be incinerated in the enveloping expansion of its dying star.  No matter how many times we scrub the kitchen floor, it will be dirtier than ever over time.

My rear view is nowhere near this orderly now.

Depressing as this is, there is one thing not considered in all of this:  beginnings.  Currently science says that beginning (as in the big bang) can come from nothing.  This defies human logic and causes tremendous problems of symmetry, or balance.  No rising from the ashes and going on to repeat the process.  No symmetry.  I feature that beginnings come from unknown endings, at least that is my natural supposition since I'm preparing for a period of permanent disorder (old age).

These roses had their day, shattered and fell to the ground (entropy).

But new roses will be around next year to do the same.

I have always shied away from "hard" science, otherwise known as physics, because I feared it was difficult enough to bring down my grades and cause entropy of my self esteem.  So in high school I signed up for physics and dropped it for study hall out of panic.  Another girl seized the opportunity and begged to purchase my used and therefore cheap textbook for the price I paid.  Later on, I changed my mind and decided to return to physics.  When I asked to buy back my book, the other girl said "No," and I was forced to pay for a new text book which I could ill afford.  The irony of all this:  the girl who found my book such a bargain was a millionaire's daughter who grew up on a big southern plantation.  I, on the other hand, was abandoned by my father and supported by my unemployed mother.  Everyone knew this.  In that moment I felt first hand the cruelty and apathy of the "haves" in this world.  And the concept of entropy here:  used book (order), selling the book in a moment of weakness (beginning disorder) having to buy more expensive book (0 minus 10 on the order scale).  Science rules.

Science rules and is spectacularly beautiful!

NANNY TECH

As an individual, I am prone to philosophy and dreams; practical considerations are best left to the others in my life.  This finds me frequently undone when confronted with credit card transactions and smiling waitresses and friends stuffing several large bills in my hand.  Little girl lost.

A few minutes before, snatched from the realm of soft blue sky, waves lapping against moored sailboats,and the floating ambiance of waterbirds riding on the breeze and leaving a musical trail of their native sounds (Merrior, a wine and seafood taste experience on the water), I snap back into the ordinary world unable to transition.

In my defense, I am not quite senile, and possess an average intelligence.  As I told someone in a dream last night, I was an honor student, a somewhat capable basketball player AND "Miss Courtesy" in high school.  Despite these meager though well-rounded accomplishments, I trip over the door sill of sophisticated card-swiping, technical Nirvana and appear to need a boy scout to lead me across the street.

At Merrior 

I fumble while my brain is stuck in neutral and sweat forms on my

 face, causing my thinning hair to plaster to my cheeks.

Everyone jumps to my rescue.

And now feeling as inferior as possible, I shop for an Apple TV, which is an appliance which allows TV to show internet options, like Netflix.  Grandson thought they were in the $30 range.  Surprise!  The cheapest was $48 and it wasn't Apple, which were closer to $100.  For someone whose monthly income is $120, and has many cats to feed and vet, this is a considerable amount.

    

Misty, one of my dependents rests after mowing the grass.

I will mull over my wants, needs, and resources and build the resolve to get the gadget and have Grandson do the rest.  He understands.

Grandson who makes it ever so hard to hate men.

FATAL EXTRACTION

Husband and I headed for my dental appointment at 9:30 AM and by 9:15 took our seats in the dark blue chairs of the waiting room, decorated with a mural depicting an animal-filled African plain.  At 10:15 we were still observing the giraffe, panther, and zebra standing immobile in their portrait and the green, grassy plain looming a bright green rectangle, which bothered me by its refusal to be shaded into the distance.  Also troubling was the brick patio foreground begging the question:  who invites these animals (apparently) into the waiting room?

Finally the dental assistant calls me away from what had become like home:  the cellphone calls of various people, the teenagers mugging and staring into their hand-held devices.  No longer the need to endure the casual examination of total strangers anymore; just watch them monitor whatever might be so interesting to them.

Husband and I enjoying the wait in the waiting room

In the dental chair, the assistant and I exchanged pleasantries about our cats and after I am flattered by her saying she thinks hoarders are really not bad people; the dentist came in, gave me a long-needled shot of deadening stuff, which took a lot longer than changing tires at a NASCAR race...a lot longer.  Then my insides began to rumble in an old familiar way.  Oh please, God, not now.  And God said, "Okay." After about 20 minutes, the dentist returned and gave me an even longer shot of Novocaine.  Then he took out his tools and began to work.  At this point I reflect on the irregular heartbeat which afflicts me.  Having been normal for 9 months, it inexplicably returned 3 days before my extraction appointment.  I relay to the dentist that if I die in the chair, he'll know why.  No problem, he said.  

The dentist and I prepare to do it.

"Crunch, crack, pop," and the tooth breaks into fragments.  Without dropping a stitch, the dentist begins to pick and pull out the shattered roots.  After much tedious removal of matter, he declared me done and I leave with post-extraction care instructions which included DRUGS.

Husband had napped on and off and we left at 12 noon.  It only cost $115.00.  That night I dreamed I was naked on an African plain and being chased by a savage dentist wanting to extract all my teeth.  The panther, giraffe and zebra were running with me.

Savage dentist chasing me and the panther on the plain

or

The pain in Spain is mainly on the plain!

SEVEN DAY VACATION

On June 29th, the whole family headed to Avon, NC, for some time at the beach.  It was much anticipated and one of the few times we can all be together.  The first few days were rainy, but we had a beautiful house with hot tub and pool so we relaxed, ate, drank and were merry.

Our Aptly Named House!

There were three floors and lots of climbing.

Husband enjoys drifting in the placid waters of our own pool!

The family game of corn hole was competitive!

(with daughter #3, Baby Sis throwing)

Husband showed his skills.

Daughter #2 was flexible as scorekeeper.

Daughter #1 (CBW) observes and penalizes.

Baby Sis takes in the rays.

Dino, Baby Sis's friend brought all the games and fun!

And he wasn't hard to look at either!

Husband took over in the kitchen.

A good time was had by all.

FATHERS DAY

First children are scary things.  Husband was amused by all the cuteness, but fully aware that he was just a visitor on the planet parenthood.  The responsibility for the cute one's well being was strictly out of his jurisdiction.  The whole diaper regimen was as baffling to him as a carburetor to me.

.

Husband spends father time with little CB baby.

As time went on, things came more naturally to all of us, and before you knew he was galloping along quite nicely!

Strong of back and well trained,

Husband required no bridle, bit or saddle!

Now that everyone is grown up and gone, we are left feeling uneasy and at a loss to define our purpose in life.  For Husband, it is delivering seafood and doing chores around the home place.  For me, it is saving cats no one wants, feeding everyone, and playing sudoku.  

   

Could there be a more telling picture?  

Who are we?  What good are we?

Throw in a pitchfork and it is American Gothic!

I am truly thankful for my partner in life and so are his children.  Sunday we will have grilled fish, garden vegetables, and a large measure of gratitude for our family patriarch.  Maybe some wine as well.  HAPPY FATHERS DAY  TO ALL FATHERS EVERYWHERE!

Happy Fathers Day from Leo the cat.

MY DREAM

Part I:  WANTED BY THE FBI

I am heading to a beach house on an island and am on either a train or a ship going over water.  Sitting quietly and anonymously, I am paged to the phone, which is mounted to the wall of the train/ship.  A young pilot with wavy reddish hair announces that it is an important call from the FBI.  Stunned, I say hello and a hysterical woman on the other end relates how her husband has betrayed her.  I do not know the woman or how she knew of and located me on the transport.  All that aside, I try to comfort her with the fact she is in the company of so many good women who find themselves being eliminated in the love equation by espousal fickleness.  Feeling made quite important ( the FBI and all) I take my seat and resume the journey.

I take a call from the FBI.

Part II:  LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

Instead of the beach house, I am let out in an older suburb of Los Angeles and I go in and out shops and residences as if with a realtor.  We take note of the negative aspects of the buildings, in particular the balcony/patio of one residence, presumably a rental.  I admire the handiwork in the shops.

I walk through buildings in LA.

I swear I change bodies with other people at night.  Once I dreamed I boarded a submarine at Gwynn's Island and came up near a big city at night with all the amazing lights imaginable.  Evidently I lack stimulation for which I compensate in dreams.

I marvel at the night lights of some unknown city.