Thursday, August 29, 2013

FATAL EXTRACTION

Husband and I headed for my dental appointment at 9:30 AM and by 9:15 took our seats in the dark blue chairs of the waiting room, decorated with a mural depicting an animal-filled African plain.  At 10:15 we were still observing the giraffe, panther, and zebra standing immobile in their portrait and the green, grassy plain looming a bright green rectangle, which bothered me by its refusal to be shaded into the distance.  Also troubling was the brick patio foreground begging the question:  who invites these animals (apparently) into the waiting room?

Finally the dental assistant calls me away from what had become like home:  the cellphone calls of various people, the teenagers mugging and staring into their hand-held devices.  No longer the need to endure the casual examination of total strangers anymore; just watch them monitor whatever might be so interesting to them.

Husband and I enjoying the wait in the waiting room

In the dental chair, the assistant and I exchanged pleasantries about our cats and after I am flattered by her saying she thinks hoarders are really not bad people; the dentist came in, gave me a long-needled shot of deadening stuff, which took a lot longer than changing tires at a NASCAR race...a lot longer.  Then my insides began to rumble in an old familiar way.  Oh please, God, not now.  And God said, "Okay." After about 20 minutes, the dentist returned and gave me an even longer shot of Novocaine.  Then he took out his tools and began to work.  At this point I reflect on the irregular heartbeat which afflicts me.  Having been normal for 9 months, it inexplicably returned 3 days before my extraction appointment.  I relay to the dentist that if I die in the chair, he'll know why.  No problem, he said.  


The dentist and I prepare to do it.

"Crunch, crack, pop," and the tooth breaks into fragments.  Without dropping a stitch, the dentist begins to pick and pull out the shattered roots.  After much tedious removal of matter, he declared me done and I leave with post-extraction care instructions which included DRUGS.

Husband had napped on and off and we left at 12 noon.  It only cost $115.00.  That night I dreamed I was naked on an African plain and being chased by a savage dentist wanting to extract all my teeth.  The panther, giraffe and zebra were running with me.



Savage dentist chasing me and the panther on the plain
or
The pain in Spain is mainly on the plain!


12 comments:

  1. This is why I hate dentists. If they did anything like that to me, I'd need heavy sedation. (I almost needed it just to read this.) Hope you're feeling better.

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  2. Oh, Mary, I know about that pain!
    When I was about 40, I returned to the dentist I had seen when I was in my late teens and early 20s.
    He took one look at me sitting grimly in the chair, with white-knuckled hands clenched on its arms. "Well, Kay," he said, "I see you haven't changed a bit."
    Lots of sympathy,
    K

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  3. I certainly hope you are on the mend...your trip to the dentist touches a nerve *ahem* for many readers, I am sure. We all strive to be at the DDS office 15 min. before the appt.,and of course have to wait. I think the really extensive novocaine injections can affect heart rhythms, as I experienced one myself with that effect. The last thing you need, to be sure! I cannot say however, that I ever had a dental asst. give her views about hoarding, LOL.
    As a child in the 50's, my 5 year old self was at the wrong end of an antique drill, which smoked as it drilled. The pain it inflicted was excruciating and if novocaine existed then, I was not offered any. So I did the sensible thing and bit the dentist's finger as hard as I could. It was quite satisfying and still gets me through procedures today.
    LLC

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    1. I should say the MEMORY still gets me through procedures--I don't go around biting health professionals now, LOL.
      LLC

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  4. I'm glad for so much empathy...why oh why have they never come up with a better numbing technique? We've been to the moon and split the atom, yawl.

    Number 2 bit a dentist once...he was fixing some appliance in her mouth for x-ray and asked his assistant to "snap," and obedient Number 2 did so. (chuckle)

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    1. That's the spirit !

      LLC

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  5. I feel your pain. I went through the same thing myself a couple weeks back, having my top wisdom teeth removed. Although an errant needle striking a nerve was the worst physical pain, what may have been worse (at least mentally) was hearing that awful cracking noise as the dentist popped my teeth out. As she was "rolling" the wisdom teeth from their sockets (her rather inaccurate term), she mentioned something about my bottom wisdom teeth. I just growled. After all, I need to retain some wisdom.

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  6. Someday I'll write about my wisdom teeth experience. Though long ago, it remains vivid!

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  7. what a bargain ... an interminable wait, drugs, bad dreams all for $115 ...

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  8. Sounds like a relatively cheap date if you ask me!

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  9. I think I'd rather live that dream than have another tooth pulled....

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  10. Belated Happy Anniversary Wishes, and I hope you enjoy the Blogfest. Please do some James Brown songs for me ! So wish i could be there to meet you all.

    LLC

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