Wednesday, February 20, 2013


The other day Husband coughed and I peed myself.  Then I remembered, I'm only supposed to do that when I cough, preferably not even then.  I guess it's like Pavlov's dogs.  You hear a bell/cough and you have a conditioned reflex.  Or maybe we just need some time apart, if we've become that entangled.

Cause and Effect Occasionally Baffle Us

We still smile recalling various times when we wandered apart and lost each other,  Europe, Grand Cayman, and frequently Walmart.  We now carry cell phones to keep in touch.  If ever there were two people on different tracks, we are.  It is seldom smooth sailing and often "man overboard" on our Love Boat.  Still we have this strange compatibility and parallel understanding of important issues in life.  

I get my adventures through freak accidents; he through deliberate flaunting of safety rules (driving the zero-turn on our dock).  His life ambition has always been to be pulled down our creek while hanging from one of those human kite things seen at resorts.  I do not want to see it.

This is him, high over the water and hoping for a downdraft.  

If his last wish is a balloon ride, he should choose another partner, one with a death wish as ardent as his own.  But I'll probably do it.

Me not having fun; Husband euphoric.

There's only one burial spot left in the family plot, so since we are both getting cremated, we should just be crammed into one jar and have done with it.  Then we would fit nicely into the remaining place unless there is some bureaucratic unsound reasoning to prevent that final two-fer.  And we can be buried.  With my eccentric in-laws.  Now there's a dramatic box of chocolates.  And at last Husband and I will be together!
With the in-laws.

I look for Judgement Day to be confusing anyway, so why fret the details.


  1. You envision Necco wafers, but I'd say you are Creme de la Creme. Just remember there are many ladies far younger with bladder control issues-- for varied reasons, and if you are feeling your age, perhaps it's that recent brutal ski trip ?
    I quite relate to that Man Overboard moment on the love boat..been there too many times to count.
    I have one question re the Burial Plot: who is the "Nutty Center" ?

  2. See, I always wanted to do the human kite thing down the creek too. So if he absolutely needs someone to accompany him, I'll take your place and save you an episode of incontinence. Unless it's a trip down the dock on the zero-turn.

    Then he's on his own.

    You forgot to mention his name for those things that help with the effects of incontinence: Pretends instead of Depends.

    As in, you pretend you're not *****ing or ***ing yourself.

  3. Too many "t"s in *****ing; there's just one.

    And for the record, that was a FREAK one time thing. It's not like my hydraulics are shot.

    Perhaps I shouldn't be so honest LLC, but all the chocolates have a few nuts; but the grand nut award went to Brother-in-Law. He was a hum- dinger.

  4. i laughed til i almost .. yup ..

  5. hahaha! Hahaha! HAHA......oops! Gotta go change the drawers.....hahaha!

  6. There's no way that there is only one t in *****ing!! :-) These stories are hilarious!

    Middle Sis

  7. CBMama, I will gladly pit my bro-in-law against your bro-in-law in a hum-dingery contest...mine is certifiable,and arrogant to boot. Not a good combination....