Thursday, October 6, 2011


Waverly Lane has its share of lockhorns, individuals who simply can not endure the sight of each other, and who engage in duels of varying intensity in ongoing episodes.  My least favorite is the feud between Leo and Shadow, the nearly identical cat siblings.

Leo De Janero

Shadow (Shaddy Cat)

Even though they are DNA compatible, each has the burning need to eliminate the other even though everybody has been neutered.  They just don't like each other.  Breaking up a cat fight is comparable to separating belligerent  porcupines.  Somebody is going to feel pain and it is usually me.  I have tried brooms, water hoses, and nothing works like pressurized spray cans of flea potion.  The trick is to not go in their eyes with it.  My skill is improving and we get a flea treatment at the same time.  Win, win.

Then as I walked toward my door, I saw another storm brewing.  Steadfastly glaring at each other in squinted-eye contempt was the Cub Cadet and the Toro Zero Turn, our old and new lawn mowers respectively.

A Rumble Getting Started

I froze, as did the wooden wind heron (bottom right), in dread anticipation of the metal-on-metal violence which was surely fermenting.  Insults began flying faster than grass clippings.  I thought I heard the Cub Cadet, who had been the favorite family mower for years, refer to the Toro as an effeminate and degrading
affront to the masculinity of lawn care.  Actually he called it "a hot pink float in a gay parade."

The Toro steeled itself and shot back, "That's to be expected from a gas guzzling, inefficient, insensitive, polluting red neck relic.  

I had had enough.  The heron turned away from the gasoline breath, as a breeze stirred, and  I started in the house, leaving behind what would not be ended soon.  I did warn Husband that one lawn mower was enough.  They see it that way too.

Not a Happy Pair


  1. This is wonderful, especially the lawnmowers. Cat siblings at war is kinda sad, however. Are they individually cuddly? Do they sleep in different rooms? If so, is it their idea, or yours?
    A fun read!

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

  2. Those cats occupy different areas of the yard; but when paths cross my arteries get a workout. My fear, vet fees for injuries.

    It is not my desire in any way to see two males chewing and scratching themselves and me. All males are difficult, no?

    The lawnmowers both have an attitude. I think Husband has created this rivalry as he minuets across the yard in the Zero Turn, causing Cub Cadet to feel inadequate. OK, I'm crazy.

  3. Crazy is the new normal. I prefer the word quirky, which is also the new normal. At least around here....

  4. Too bad the siblings can't get along, but sometimes the DNA just isn't enough to forge a friendship. My father also had dueling lawn mowers, they were always calling each other names. You certainly have a wonderful way with words!

  5. other mama... NOW I know where I get my imagination from!!!!! 40 years later I understand.
    love you miss you!!!!

  6. I prefer eccentric- sounds richer. Those zero turns are snazzy looking but I prefer the older bulkier models myself... probably because I am a bulkier model too growing older by the minute

  7. Oh my gosh! I laughed my way through this whole post. Thank goodness our cats AND our tractors all get along! ;)

  8. What's up with his ears? Or should I say down? And those two mowers are kinda handsome together....

  9. He had surgery on that ear, leaving it floppy. I spent a lot of money for that disfigurement!